I help out at a friend’s restaurant a few nights a week. Here’s a conversation I had with a new guy that just started.
NEW GUY. You’re not here much, what else do you do?
ME. I work as a consultant at an acting studio. (I explained what that was)
NEW GUY. If I was an actor, I would want to get advice from a real actor, not somebody I never heard of like you.
(pause)
ME. That wasn’t very nice.
NEW GUY. (shrugs, walks away)
Ouch!
You’ve heard it a million times, but I’ll say it again: acting is a brutally competitive, extremely frustrating industry. I truly feel that until you have experienced it for yourself you have no possible way of understanding exactly how hard it is.
Actors have to learn to deal with two different kinds of harshness. The first is the kind that comes from within the industry and can be pretty much summed up by “I didn’t get picked.” Whether that refers to an audition, a callback, the part, an interview with an agent or manager or casting director, an internship or apprenticeship, or a place in an acting program, it’s all rejection and it can take its toll cumulatively or sometimes in a single shot. If you want to stay in the game you just have to learn to deal with it.
The other kind of harshness comes from outside the industry and is perfectly illustrated by my example from above. It comes from people who have zero knowledge of the industry. Often, these are people who try to feel better about themselves and their status (personally or professionally or both) by finding what they perceive as shortcomings in others and pointing them out. Again, you just have to learn how to deal with it. They can’t hurt you unless you let them.
I have a milestone high school reunion rapidly approaching and I am steeling myself for it. Despite the fact that I meet actors every day who would be happy to trade their problems for mine, there is no possible way that my accomplishments thus far will impress my former schoolmates. If I let myself get into a pissing contest, or try to explain the industry to everybody I talk to, it will be a long and regrettable evening. Instead, I plan to focus my conversations as much as possible away from my career.