Once upon a time a young lady came in for an initial consultation with me. Vivacious and ambitious, she told me that her six-month goal was to win a major role on a television series.
This is a pretty obvious, but I also think probably common, example of an individual under a great deal of self-imposed pressure.
Now let me take a step back here for a moment. This post is by no means intended to criticize dreams or those who have them. I believe that just about anybody that becomes an actor has an idea of where they would someday like to be, should everything work out perfectly. It may only be an idea, but it’s there nonetheless.
However, I further believe that when we allow our idea or dream to be the standard against which all of our accomplishments are measured we put an enormous amount of pressure on ourselves. This stress is can be a major emotional drain. It is destructive and antithetical to our art and, ironically enough, works against our chances of our dream coming true.
Expectations can happen in big ways, like for the young lady described earlier, but also in smaller ways. Allow me a personal example:
I happen to know that the show in which I am about to appear will be reviewed by some high-profile critics. I recently caught myself fantasizing about the tremendous reviews that my performance will receive. The fantasy went on from there. Imagine all the doors that will fly open for me because of the positive notices I get! The networks will start requesting me for pilots… maybe I’ll get screen-tested in Los Angeles… the major film casting directors here in the city will want to see me…
Wow. It’s a cool vision, but I must not allow this happy daydream to become an expectation, because all of the things I just mentioned are totally out of my control! Right now all of my energy should be squarely focused on the rehearsal process. I need to work hard now so that, regardless of what the critics do or don’t say, or what does or doesn’t happen as a result, I will be proud of my performances. The only expectation I should allow myself, therefore, is that I will apply all of the processes I have learned in class to my preparation for the show. I can control that.
If I am seduced into measuring the fruits of my labors against my fantasy I run the very real risk of being totally dissatisfied with my work, even if that work is in fact quite good and I excel at all of the elements over which I can control. Sadly, I see actors do this all the time. We accomplish something important, but because our expectations are for something even greater we neither recognize nor appreciate what we have achieved. I strongly believe this sort of thing leads many people to give up the industry, sometimes just as they are starting to come into their own.
Be aware of when your are measuring yourself against unfair expectations! It probably happens more often than you realize.
